Grave of the Fireflies
by Crystal aka Firestarter

There was something different in the way they interacted these days as the matches progressed to the semi-finals in the latest tournament that he was involved in. The winds, for example, were unnaturally calm and cool amidst days that were not harsh at all - only warm and fair. It was something out of the ordinary to have such calm days despite the rage that demons fought in, the way everything contrasted with each other...

Hiei paused in his steps as his small hand touched the doorknob that lead to one of the rooms that was rented by Mukuro's men, his mind in disarray. His scarlet eyes were hidden by the shadows caused by playing lights that pierced in through the window at the end of the hallway, unwilling to be seen. All were having a break right now as the semi-finals were about to start soon and the eliminations had finally ended; the matches ahead were certainly interesting as much as the combatants themselves are. He himself was a survivor of the seemingly endless fights that he had been faced with but there was one thing bothering him most...

Somehow, the feeling of demise was beleaguering him, a sort of emptiness filling his already hollow being.

His other hand fisted and knocked softly on the door even though he knew who was on the opposite side of the wooden gate. And the door opened as he turned the knob, his lithe body entering the middle sized room that was not somehow alien to him anymore.

Amused obsidian studied him as he closed the door and stood there, a small and young demon that had come to be conquered once again. Underlying the voice of the owner was a smirk that seemed to be a clandestine to something baleful, emitting darkness that wanted to inspire darkness and trepidation.

"Yes, Hiei? Do you need anything from me?" Shigure was truly smirking, malicious eyes fixed on Hiei with carnal desire. He was sitting on the bed, legs spread as men would often do, resting after his last elimination match with an old man named Kido. Obviously he was relaxed despite the knowledge that he would have to face the ancient Youko named Kurama who was one opponent to be feared. Despite the insidious and diabolic schemes that he would surely be faced with though, he was not worried at all, his face with the serenity long forgotten.

"Shigure," Hiei sighed, taking a few steps towards the older youkai, stopping only as a few steps separated them, his blood like eyes fixed on Shigure's. "Can I ask you something?"

Shigure's brows rose. "Of course."

"Do you swear to tell me the truth?" Hiei stared with hardness, demanding nothing but the truth.

"Yes." The older youkai nodded once, lips pursing, brows knitting in obvious amusement.

"Can you take me seriously?" Hiei snarled softly, though his voice was gentle, almost wanting not to inflict any sort of harm.

"I am taking you seriously, boy. I think you take yourself too seriously."

"Shigure..."

"I will answer your query with honesty, Hiei." The man's brows fell, lips frowning in just a small hint of worry. There was something troubling the young youkai today. Perhaps Hiei's clever mind had witnessed easily the changes in the air that they breathed, in the lives that they lived..."What is it that you want to know?"

He spoke softly still, slowly as if the words were going to die the moment they come out of his lips. "You're not... closing the book yet, are you?"

"Closing the book?" His voice was serious now, knowing exactly what Hiei meant, feeling his young friend's face with the melancholy that was not supposed to be there. "Hiei... come here."

The small youkai took a few more steps before he was finally in front of Shigure, his eyes staring up at the man as they were now a breath apart. "Shigure... why?"

Shigure spoke, eyes on Hiei's. "The mundane ground that we have walked upon: it had been used by me for many more centuries than you. The wind that we breathe: it was there to whisper dilemmas and turbulence that had existed only in my time. The rain that lays its fingers to trace every inch of your body: it had been there knowing how I had spent the youthful years that are now only in my mind." He smiled a bit, sadness evident. "The time has come for me. I'm sorry, Hiei."

"It's over." Slowly, Hiei nodded though his face never looked backup again, eyes shadowed by jet black and snow white bangs. His insides burned with unexplainable injury, feeling darkness and the helplessness that he had only felt at birth. "Your time has come."

"Hn," Shigure raised Hiei's chin up, looking into equally lonely eyes, seeing a sense of desperation that clung within his former student. "Raise your head, scarlet eyes. The day isn't over yet for you. You are merely in the dawn of your life." He slowly traced Hiei's face with both hands as the young youkai's head froze from where he positioned it, his callused fingers feeling soft smooth skin. A finger traced the lid of the opened jagan that he had implanted, feeling his prey shivering from the touch as the red eyes closed at the sensation. He smiled, touching the beautiful face, almost as if memorizing every curve. "You almost make me wish that dusk has not yet come to take me away like the wind."

Hiei's eyes opened and they were like liquid fire, expressive suddenly, the mask dropped and shattering to a million pieces. "You would leave me like all else did. Like everyone I ever knew and loved."

"You love me, Hiei?" Shigure asked, face nearing the little one's, breath quickening.

"Does it matter?" he countered, remembering the words Shigure spoke many months before. He looked up as the man's face neared his, his small tongue licking thin lips.

"Suddenly," The man tilted his head, placing it in parallel to Hiei's as he just inhaled the scent of the half-Koorime. "Yes."

"Why should it?" He rested his chin on Shigure's shoulders, somehow disappointed with the paternal touch. "Why should it matter to you?"

"Because..." He didn't offer any answer as he pulled back, smirking at Hiei. "Do you love me?"

"Why the question...?"

He felt a slight tremble from Hiei's lithe body and suddenly caressed a pale cheek in response. "To have something to tell Yume and Hiro." He smirked, knowing that that could defile the moment.

And it did as Hiei's face hardened, his shame burning in his face as fists formed at his sides. Suddenly, he pointed a finger at Shigure's chest, his heart bleeding with anger and sadness. How dare Shigure take advantage of such a vulnerable moment to mock him like that! Long had he known that he was undeserving and only fit for temporary use but-! "You mendacious man. Shigure, I..." What? Shigure can easily play with his feelings and body but why did he have to conquer his heart?

"Sorry, Hiei." Shigure muttered suddenly as he saw the reaction that such simple words could cause. It was something that he often did since his family had died, trying to see reactions to brief slashes of pain, but somehow, when he assaulted Hiei, it was as if he was hurting his own son. "I wanted to see something..." He held Hiei's face within his hands and began to study it again, lowering slowly by the second, fingering eyes and nose and lips and neck. Finally, his lips descended upon Hiei's as he embraced Hiei's small body within his powerful arms, tasting the sweet and sad reality that Hiei easily offered him. His eyes closed as he saw Hiei's own did, hands caressing the little youkai's small back.

"Shigure..." Hiei broke away from the kiss, breath quickening as he swallowed tightly. His voice was soft as he silently met Shigure's eyes. "I do love you. More than you'll ever know."

"I thought so." Shigure opened his eyes finally, forehead resting on Hiei's as their eyes never left each other, souls exposed. "Hiei, I have to leave. I have to walk away."

Hiei sighed and disentangled himself from Shigure's arms, moving away a few steps. "You and I..." he spoke with longing in his voice as he smiled sadly. "We're mutually destructive. We lived together at one point in our lives. We nearly died together... But I can't go with you, can I? The place that's your home is..." He paused. "I'm sorry for coming here."

"Hiei." Shigure stood up and neared his small partner, feeling exasperated. "Stay." He kneeled in front of Hiei's body and held small hands that belonged to his young lover, grinning softly and with kindness unknown to a forbidden child. "Stay here for tonight."

"You want me to?" Hiei asked, curious suddenly as he saw that Shigure was giving him the attention that he desired. He smiled suddenly, a mix of angst and joy, full of passion and dark and bright emotions. I don't want to be alone...

Amusement reawakened in Shigure's eyes as he nodded, trying to see how the chibi can seduce him tonight... for one last time...

"Then touch me one last time. Hold me within your arms and show me your world." He spoke not with sultry tones nor playfulness that one expected from a young whore that knew too much of the ways of flesh. Instead, he spoke with undivided attention coated with the intensity of his strong emotions for the man, like what an equal would say to a real partner.

"Touch you, little one?" Shigure asked, trying to ask himself if he would have to leave such a spectacular spirit. He knew this would soon be just a memory to Hiei but somehow, the thought of leaving a heartbroken partner that would only live on in sadness was not what he wanted. If only... Internally, he shook his head and sighed.

"Like you never did..." The little youkai smiled and tugged on Shigure's hands, coaxing him to bed. "Show me... And I'll show you how much I feel for you."

"Hiei..." He hesitated as he heard the words from his much smaller partner but followed the little youkai to his own bed, smiling at the moment. When they reached the bed, he sat down from his former spot awhile ago and grinned at Hiei, pulling the youth between his legs.

"Is this real, Shigure?" Hiei softly asked as he was suddenly pulled into a tight and warm embrace, his cheek resting on Shigure's shoulder. It was a question he'd asked another man he'd loved before but at the time, though it had been answered with a positive, it hadn't been real. He didn't expect much from the final breaths of Shigure.

Shigure merely snorted. "I know what you expect. You expect me to say yes and get on to just taking you like that. You're wrong, Hiei."

Hiei blinked. He had not expected Shigure to... He still reads me so well. After all this time...

"So, what is your answer?" Hiei dared.

"Yes and..." His lips captured Hiei's again, initializing another kiss. After a short while, he pulled back and smiled. "And I tell you that this time, it's real."

"Shigure." Hiei breathed the musky scent of his older partner, crimson eyes staring, feeling the man breathing on his skin, inhaling him like a drug.

Shigure merely traced his lips on Hiei's neck, tongue tasting soft pale skin. Softly, he blew a gentle breeze in Hiei's ear, feeling Hiei shiver beneath him. "I've always been honest. Always was real." Before he kissed Hiei's lips again, he smiled truthfully. "This moment is yours, Hiei. And this time...

"This time, it's real."

Immediately, Hiei's body went limp as a truthful and honest smile was painted on his face. "Thank you."

"It's you I have to thank." Shigure slowly disentangled himself from the embrace, just looking at ruby eyes. "You made the final chapter the best in the book." As he said this, he finally pulled on Hiei's tank top, taking it off to reveal a lithe chest with tight little nubs that longed to be kissed. "Felicity beckons me to stay as I look at the body that I'm going to make mine later on but this is the last, Hiei." His lips descended on a nipple and he licked and kissed, earning a gasp as Hiei arched his bare back into his arms.

"Shigure." Hiei moaned, immediately wrapping his arms around Shigure's neck, wanting so much more. As if to answer his silent plead, Shigure slowly shifted him and lowered him to the bed, the sheets meeting his skin in an almost arousing manner as it smelled of nothing but Shigure. Butterfly kisses immediately rained down on him like a storm as well experienced hands touched his clothed bottom, squeezing and teasing, a mere preview to what was set to occur. He squeezed his eyes shut, almost as if unbelieving as hands touched him everywhere, daring him to lose control this early on. Suddenly, he felt Shigure undressing him completely as he lay as submissive as always, small arms still clinging on Shigure's neck as he was being treated as one would an equal.

Suddenly, the touching stopped and he opened his eyes to see what Shigure was doing.

Shigure had kneeled back on his heels and was marveling over his body, hands working on taking his own clothes off slowly, taking his time, wanting each moment and each event to last as long as possible. Slowly as he finally discarded all his clothing, a finger of his' traced a line on Hiei's body, from the beautiful angelic face to the slender neck, the lithe chest, the flat belly, bony hips, soft thighs and legs... He kissed Hiei again with much passion, the moment so surreal yet so emotional at the same time. The satisfying moment of shared fondness, of the uniting of two bodies in a holy union known as sex... It was a final gift between lovers... though it wasn't without sadness.

Hiei ran his fingers through tied black hair, reaching at the root of it all and pulling at that which held it together like that, releasing long raven hair that spilled on Shigure's shoulders and his sides. It was a tickling sensation that touched his skin, black hair smelling of musk and wild winds from the atmosphere of the demon world and he grinned as Shigure looked at him with amusement. His little feet were planted on the bed, legs opened wide to allow Shigure free access to whatever the man wanted to do as a big body rested lightly on his own.

"Hiei," Shigure breathed the scent of his little lover, looking into crimson eyes. "Take it easy. We have the whole night."

"One night." Hiei nodded before he pulled Shigure's head into his own, lips touching the other's once again, this time being the aggressor to the kiss. It wasn't fast nor wild but it was still passionate, special as always but this time, it was slow and so meaningful. From the way they held each other tenderly, it promised to be a beautiful treasure they both would keep for as long as they live... even in death. Forever and ever in their hearts. Never to be forgotten. Ever.

As they parted, Hiei stifled all the dark emotions that threatened to ruin this one last night. He wanted it to be as perfect as Shigure promised it to be, slow and gentle and so full of meaning to both of them. "I trust you, Shigure. I've trusted you the first time you touched me. I trusted you during all those times. I trust you now." He looked up at serene obsidian orbs. "I want this."

Shigure looked down at expressive crimson eyes that spoke of silent love, the truthfulness of the words and suddenly, his own pain began to dull. There was peace in the world within that one intimate moment he shared with his boy, time coming to a stop, death not rushing as it did before. The moment was like an elixir to fate, a seal that ensured he was to suffer no longer. If only...

"Make me yours." Hiei smiled in bliss, taking joy in being held like this. "For one last night."

"I will." Shigure smiled back, caressing soft pale skin once again, the whisper not only a promise but also an assurance that this night... This night was what Hiei had wanted to see for so long a time. To have someone reciprocate his feelings for the first time in his life... "Hiei, I do love you too. But..."

"Speak no longer." Hiei grinned. "Just... let us unite."

"Okay." The man suddenly pulled away, urging Hiei into doing the seduction he knew best... something they both had always enjoyed amongst themselves. "You lead first."

"I thought you'd never ask."

Hiei sat up from his vulnerable position and urged Shigure to sit on the edge of the bed, grinning as he did so. Slowly, he kneeled in front of Shigure, lips tasting strong muscled abdomen of his lover, descending and kissing powerful thighs. His slender fingers traced Shigure's inner thighs as he sucked and nibbled on the flesh there, satisfied at the sound of pleasure that he was eliciting from his older partner.

"Hiei, damn it! Hiei..." Shigure felt the skill of Hiei's seduction, moaning his little lover's name as the small youkai pleasured him.

Lifting his head, Hiei looked on in amusement at Shigure, eyes dancing with unrestrained emotions. "Don't worry. I'll give you your release. "He paused, intensifying the promise. "One way or another."

He finally took in as much as he could of Shigure's engorged length, nearly choking because of the size but doing just fine as he had practiced long enough. Little fangs teasing Shigure, he was grinning as he played with his tongue, his fingers massaging everything under the erection.

"Hiei, you little devil..." Shigure ran his hands on Hiei's soft hair, trying to beckon the little demon into taking in more of him. Hiei just snickered within his position and finally sucked, giving as much pleasure as he could. One hand reached up to intertwine it with the man and he sucked harder once he felt the pressure being returned. As soon as Shigure nearly exploded however, he pulled back and smirked naughtily at the man.

"Hiei..." Shigure breathed.

"I want us... together." Hiei smiled sweetly, wiping away the trail of mixed saliva and pre cum that graced his chin. "Can we?"

"Yes." Shigure panted. "Definitely."

"Good." As soon as he mouthed that one word, Hiei arranged himself on his stomach, ready and waiting to be taken. "Now then, Shigure."

"No. Wait."

Hiei groaned. "Don't let the moment wait too long."

"Believe me, I don't. But... I do in some way. And..." Shigure bent over to a nearby table and took a small vial of scented oil, opening it and putting some into his palm before placing it back. His hands were amazingly gentle on Hiei's opening, patient even as he readied and lubricated Hiei with care. His cheek was now pressed against Hiei's, their eyes on each other before they kissed a long passionate kiss, their affection evident within that touch. As they parted, Shigure finally entered Hiei, one hand finally grasping the young youkai's rigid erection. "Let's just let this happen. Tomorrow... Ah!"

"Shigure!" Hiei screamed as pain and pleasure mixed. "I... ah..." Moving in sync to Hiei's thrusts into his hand, Shigure took the little demon with much passion, impaling with combined sadness and farewell that they both needed to share within each other's bodies and souls.

"Hiei... Don't regret anything." He breathed, kissing his boy on the neck, licking the thin layer of sweat that had gathered. "Tomorrow, whatever happens, remember that I do love you too. As a father and a lover." He sucked in a breath and moaned, pushing in harder and faster. "And a friend."

Hiei came not too long after that, soaking the sheets before he felt Shigure follow him not too long after, a heavy weight settling against his prone body. They were both sated now, in body and even in spirit though their hearts never healed - not even within each other's arms. And they laid in silence for a long time, relishing in the body warmth that they shared.

After a few more moments of silent pants, Shigure finally smiled a sated smile and turned both of them around, letting Hiei's back rest on his torso, his sex softening and leaving Hiei slowly. "That was..." He had to breathe some more. "Amazing."

"The best just for you." Hiei grinned, panting as well. "You did deserve it."

"A farewell gift?"

"No..." He frowned. "Because you'd live on... forever and ever. Even until I die." He closed his eyes, turning his body around and laying on Shigure's side, his head tucked under the man's chin. Strong arms wrapped around his slender form and he smiled sadly at the thought that this was the end. "Shigure will live on in my heart no matter what his decision is."

"Hiei..." Shigure kissed Hiei's head and sighed, knowing not what to say any longer. "Let's lay like this the rest of the night. One night truly in each other's arms. Just one night more..."

"One night." Hiei buried his face into a broad shoulder. "Just one..."

They lay like that for many hours more, trying to relish each second, each breath, each hour that had ticked by for tomorrow...

Tomorrow...

Hiei woke up to a cold bed, alone and bare, the sun not yet rising. Sitting up as he felt his heart break since the night was nearing its end, he stood up from the bed, not minding that the cool air was biting his skin as he walked towards a nearby window, drawing the curtains to search a raven haired man that he had shared everything he had with for one last night. And saw nothing but darkness. Blind, never-ending pitch black...

Where was Shigure? Why did he leave him just like that? No farewell... The farewell was that we had shared...? We said good-bye by doing something no other living creature had done with Shigure before... I am lucky... He treated me as an equal, loved me too. As a father, a lover...A friend...

Hiei released a breath and finally dressed himself, wishing to be with Shigure one last time, even just in presence...

He stalked out of Shigure's room in silence, walking through the dark hallway that had yesterday been with golden light from the dying afternoon. And suddenly encountered...

Yes, it was Yusuke. That's right. Today was the semi-final rounds of the Makai Bujutsukai. He'd nearly forgotten it as thoughts about his lover echoed painfully on his senses. And later on, it would be Mukuro versus him, Yusuke versus Yomi and Kurama versus Shigure...

Such intense matches...

"Oi, Hiei!" Yusuke greeted, rubbing at his eyes as he approached his little friend. "You're up early."

"Hn, you are too." Hiei muttered, a bit amused since Yusuke was not a person that usually woke at this hour at dawn. He briefly wondered if Yusuke had any idea about where he had been since Shigure's scent still clung on to him heavily.

And Yusuke's eyes widened as he realized something different about his friend...

"I can't believe it. You had sex."

Hiei's brows raised in indignation. "Yes, I did. So?"

Yusuke sniffed a bit then his eyes widened. "No... it can't be. Hiei, you couldn't have."

"What's wrong, Yusuke?" Hiei asked, amusement gone, his voice a bit more serious though not totally angry. But then, after Shigure's treatment of me, comparing Yusuke's way of interacting with my vivid affection months back, I should be furious right? Somehow though, I'm not. B

"Shigure?" The former human's eyes were wide, not wanting to believe. "No way."

"What's there not to believe?"

"You can't!" Yusuke protested, eyes wide in shock. "Shigure is...Shigure... No, it can't be." He shook his head, as if that could make reality unreal. He neared Hiei's form slowly, hands suddenly touching small shoulders. "Why him?"

Hiei snorted, looking into intense earthen eyes. "It's just sex. Like what we did months back. Just sex..."

"No." Yusuke kept shaking his head, unbelieving. "We had a fling. Shigure's twice your size. Surely you must be..."

"It's really none of your business who I sleep with, Yusuke." Hiei rolled his eyes, shoulders shrugging off Yusuke's hands as he finally felt tired of Yusuke's inability to believe such simple facts. "Like I don't have business in your life either..."

"Hiei..." Yusuke frowned, his arms falling limp to his sides. "It's just that I care for you."

As a friend... Hiei smiled bitterly and turned away, getting set to leave another beloved of his'.

"I do, Hiei. We're friends, remember?"

I know. And that what makes the pain worse. You don't even understand what I feel. Hiei looked back at Yusuke one last time and nodded. "Good luck on your fight later on."

"Hiei..." Yusuke stared after his friend and breathed deeply. Hiei....

Mukuro looked up as she saw her little heir approach her as the semi-finals were finally beginning, the east beginning to glow. There was a particular sadness in Hiei's eyes, trying hard to be neglected, but still there anyhow. She looked behind Hiei's form, expecting to see a raven haired fighter by the name of Shigure, but encountered nothing but air. Softly, she spoke. "Where is Shigure, Hiei?"

Hiei shrugged. "I don't know. I haven't seen him yet today. "Tried to find him but he doesn't want to be found...

"Is there anything bothering you, my heir?" she asked, staring as Hiei stood by her side, his eyes on the matches that were just beginning.

"It's nothing." He ignored the harsh pounding that he felt internally, tried to block out the darkness that was permeating his heart. Shigure finally moved as he heard his name, pacing slowly towards his match with Kurama, his eyes intense, when suddenly...

Hiei hesitated, nearly blocked the path that Shigure walked but then stopped himself. No matter how much he wanted to stop the man, he could not. If you love someone, let them go. And he did feel so much for Shigure, respected him immensely. But now, he wanted Shigure to feel the happiness that he couldn't seem to find in life anymore... not even in him.

The moment was a powerful one since it was caused by such strong emotions as proven by the fact that the Koorime child does *not* easily reveal emotions that deep towards just anyone. And one mere step to almost try to stop Shigure showed all his emotions at that point.

Shigure continued his march, their eyes meeting briefly, the final farewell as he went on in silence. And not too long after, the match began.

Each fist and kick and slash from then on was torture to Hiei's eyes, breath tight in his throat. It was not merely because he had two friends fighting but also because he knew that at any given time, a life will choose to die... And his heart would break.

He tried his best to watch with emotionless eyes, following every moment as if his life depended on it. And within a few minutes time, what he feared had come true...

Seeds rooted on the ground sprouted into trees and vines, trapping Shigure's elliptical blade, time at a standstill as one man was defeated.

And then the fall.

A descent caused not by defeat but by a hunger that a forbidden child could not quench.

Hiei's eyes were wide, core vibrating with the intensity of an earthquake though he only stood still, unable to do anything but watch for one brief moment.

Then suddenly, he ran his hardest towards his other friend Kurama since all else seemed to do the same thing, quick feet leading him to that place...

Hiei breathed the scent of sakura blossoms descending upon the earth as Shigure did, beautiful petals dancing as if it was such a precious moment instead of the disaster that it was. And stole a brief glance at the place where his older friend had chosen to fall, while the others fussed at Kurama...

Colors of the earth seemed to blend in to the emotions he felt as the matches progressed, mind trying to be strong, heart trying to survive. The earth, the wind, the sky...

Hiei glanced sideways at the lady that he was heir to, wanting to know her reaction in silence. Their own fight was coming up so there must be a lot of things in Mukuro's mind.

"Where do you think Shigure is now, Hiei?" the woman asked softly, not bothering to look at her heir as her eyes focussed on the sky.

A soft answer reached her ears. "Reikai perhaps. I don't know."

"Tell me what you feel." She breathed the sadness in the air. "What does he feel?"

"He... Felicity." Hiei muttered softly. "And I... nothing."

Mukuro looked at her heir. "Surely not. Surely, you feel your world coming down. Is that not the truth, my heir?"

"I don't know what to feel."

"He is happy since he is with the family that he had lost and he was successful in something he had wished for when he was among the living." She paused for a brief moment, one hand resting one Hiei's shoulder. "You are alive. That was what stopped his impending fall years ago. You were the last thing that he wished for in this life. For you to remain in the dawn of your life and not force your way into the darkness of death."

Wide eyes stared into space for a brief moment before the mask began to envelop his taut form and face once again. He could not believe what had been spoken. Surely, Shigure did not see him that way... As a reason for living. Surely, it could not be real since no one should look at him that way. For him to be a reason for life. Inside, he was trembling.

"And... he told you this?"

"Yes." Mukuro finally looked away as she heard both she and her heir's name blaring into the speakers. "I saw it in his eyes, the way he looked at you."

Brows in a frown on his forehead, the little youkai seemed to think about the words that entered his mind, pierced his heart...

"Hiei?" she spoke, applying some pressure on her heir's shoulder. "It's our match now. Are you ready?"

Hiei looked up and breathed the air. And he flickered out of sight to reappear not too long after in one of the floating battle fields where their match shall take place. "I am ready." he muttered silently.

"And Shigure, this match is for you."

Days passed. Yomi defeated Yusuke barely as Enki went on to claim victory. The Makai Tournament came and went, spectators and combatants leaving one by one through the gates of Gandara. Friends alike had to part as some had chosen new lives and new paths to take.

Hiei sighed into the morning sun as he glanced at the humongous beetle that Mukuro and her subjects would ride back to her fortress and territory. After parting with friends and saying good-bye in his own fashion, he had asked for temporary leave since there were a few matters that needed to be tended.

Mukuro looked again at the young demon that glanced up at all of them.

"Hiei..."

"Yes?"

A small smile appeared on her face. "I... we'd all be waiting. Don't take too long."

He smiled back as well, face serene. "I won't."

"Will you be alright, my heir?"

"I will be. Yes."

A bitter smile appeared on her face. "Do come back alive."

"I'd be alright." He looked at her, wanting to know what was in her mind.

"I know you, Hiei. Don't you go looking for your demise. No one would like that."

He sighed, nodding. "I know that. I know..."

"Good-bye then."

"Yes... Good-bye..." Hiei turned away from Mukuro and her subjects, eyes witnessing a familiar road that he had trekked so long ago. It seemed like ages since he had walked this way before and now...

Now...

It was not as intense as the first journey he had had in these familiar forests. His face, for example, no longer was with the fierce determination as before. Now, only serenity was painted on pale skin as the day slowly traveled the journey of time.

It was late afternoon when he had arrived in his old Sensei's home, the first star beginning to appear in the sky. The winds were equally cold and hot... warm and just pleasant to his body. The house that he was faced with was still as it was years ago, and still stood as he remembered it. And all places, he briefly saw himself years ago, still so young, training with the ways of the sword as a man looked on. Voices it seemed made its way into his ears as he recalled distant conversations from the distant unchangeable past...

"This is a sword. Let it protect you and the ones you love. It is not a way of life. It is merely a weapon."

"Ch'. Of course it is."

"For you... is it?"

"Yes. Of course."

"Child, once in your life, you assassinated many men. Assassination...Is it not the life of a killer?"

"I killed because I had to."

"And do you regret killing?"

"...I don't know."

"Why is it that you don't know, little one? Are you feeling guilty for your crimes?"

"Should I be?"

"What do you think?"

"No. They deserved to die. I only kill those unfit for life."

"And what if you had to kill an innocent. What would you feel then?"

"Then I'd die first since I am more fit to die..."

"Will you, little one? Even if you are faced with someone who is of your own people?"

"That is... I'm not entirely sure."

"Killing... is it an easy thing for you to do?"

"...No. It never was."

Hiei snorted in the darkness, remembering complex statements they shared. And finally neared the door that had started their relationship in the past.

"What the hell do you want, kid?" the man snarled. He didn't like being disturbed by a nobody.

The boy just glared defiantly. "I want a jagan."

The man almost laughed but just smirked at the young youkai. "A jagan? Why would you want one?"

The boy snorted. "You don't need to know. I'll be able to pay you, you know."

"Of course I need to know, little baka!" the man said, unamused. "You see there is this thing called patient doctor relationship and I just don't do anything to anyone that I don't know."

The boy folded his arms defiantly. "Why should I?"

"Because I'm the only one who can give you a jagan and therefore, you must tell me."

"Fine." the boy snarled.

"Hm. Okay then." the man said, smirking once again. "By the way, I'm Shigure."

The boy looked at the man suspiciously. He didn't trust him. He looked at the man's smirking face once again and raised an eyebrow. He snorted and finally told his name. "Hiei."

Shigure grinned as he opened the door wider for Hiei to passthrough. "Fine, let's go in."

Go in... A small hand touched the knob of the door that lead to the house, Hiei's face shadowed by his bangs. He opened the door and entered. As expected, the place was without light, darkness enveloping it as it was doing the owner of the place. Such a hollow place it had become. He walked towards each room, one by one, remembering memories that had never left his mind.

The first room that he encountered was the receiving room where he had told the dark tale that was his life, spoke the truth about what had occurred to him from birth to end. His history and his planned future... Funny but Shigure was the one who stopped his wished for death by dying on his own. The last request of a dying man...

The kitchen was as he remembered it, small but cozy, fit for a small family. In it, he remembered the first ever decent meal he had, caused not by any sort of malice but a truth that almost beckoned him to stay here forever and ever as Shigure's son...

"You're a quiet person, are you Hiei?" Shigure asked, bringing over a dish of a cooked meal to the small boy, a smirk gracing his feature. "Or do you just not trust me?"

"Only the fools can trust so easily."

Laying the dish down in front of Hiei, Shigure smiled a bit though Hiei had missed it since his eyes were on the food that he had served. "You trusted me with your life."

And so, he did...

And he'd do so again if time would choose to let him decide again...

Finally, Hiei entered the room that had been his' before, the place where he had been healed in more ways than one...

Hiei paused for a long time in front of the room, hands balling into fists. All was over between them now as death separated their souls. He never knew he'd hurt this much, never knew Shigure would mean so much to him...

And yet, he could not cry. Shigure would not want to see his sadness. Shigure only could leave once because he saw him as a brave young man who had the potential to go on even without him. And Shigure would be rolling in his grave and vowing to return if he ever found out how heartbroken he was.

He smiled bitterly at the thought of a corpse haunting him in the night. A humorous thought though there was nothing funny about the death of Shigure.

Sighing as he passed other rooms that had meant so much, he finally left the home that had belonged to his sword master. He hadn't planned to stay long. And so, he left as quickly as he came, leaving nothing and making it look as if he had not even been there. Such a contrast to his first departure...

The road back to civilization was a sad and bitter one, his soul aching as if he was the one who had died. As if he was burning in the fiery depths of hell at that very moment...

Then suddenly, as Shigure had done, the tranquility of life awakened him from the darkness that he had sunk onto. Just like before, just like the first time he had walked this path with a kind man by his side, the smile that Shigure had forced upon him years back returned on his features. Such irony of fate perhaps and such twisted ways Shigure always did to make him feel like another being worthy of life.

In front of his eyes, he saw as he stopped in his sullen walk, were the fireflies who had not stopped to glow in the darkness. Fireflies that his sword master had made him see. Not just look but see...

"They are small beetles that give off flashes of light when they fly at night. They're also there to let us see that even in the dark, there can be light."

Light in the dark...

He was not alone, was he not? One grave of a firefly meant one less source of light. But the others would continue to glow and live. Just like a life that lived in darkness, the candle would burn until the fire is snuffed out. A candle does not die by its own will but by the wick that can no longer burn because it has reached the end as the wax had finally melted. Similarly, only the wind can blow its fate.

Hiei and Shigure were so alike in many ways. One of them was that, they were both not beings of day, but of dark nights. They were both survivors, to suffer the dark road that had been spread out before them.

Sayonara, Shigure-san.

~owari~

©October 11, 2000
=====
©®¥§†Å£ former firestarter
keeper of hagiri and yusuke
babysitter of yu-chan and yukina-chan

Back to YYH Fanfiction